Kawan Baxter
May 28, 2009
Only a little rain.

Hermez, with his disheveled black hair stumbled out of the door of a two story suburban home. He held his head in one hand and a pack of cool-Z cigarettes in his other. He took the three steps in front of him step by step. Each step banged his head with more pain. Only when he made it to the bottom of the steps, still feet away from the yards entrance was he aware of the slicing cold that pinched him everywhere not covered by his small leather coat.

Hermez tried to pull out his cigarettes, grab a lighter and take out his cell phone all at once. They all fell to the floor. Shaking , Hermez bent down and scooped up his things. It was kind of dark outside; he barely saw his stuff on the pavement. The outside of his cell phone read 6:00 am. Hermez looked up. He only caught a glimpse of the darkened grey sky before a shot of pain snapped his head back down toward the earth.

Hermez sat down on the ground quite involuntarily and focused on lighting his cigarette. He pulled the long brown cylinder from its black pack. He fumbled in his jacket pocket which was full of change and scraps till he felt the hard metal and smooth yellow plastic. He stuck the cigarette in his mouth. Hermez held up his soft yellow hand, a roof to shield the flame from the dagger like wind.

*Flick...flick... flick*

The wind knocked away the spark till Hermez was lucky enough for the flame to ignite his cigarette. His first puff mirrored a single drop of rain  that fell on his extended hand.  The head pain was still there, but new thoughts fell on his mind. I was so stupid for going to that party. He would have told himself if a cigarette wasn’t stuck between his lips. The night before Hermez had showed up to the party with his cousins from college. More  drops dripped from the sky. The  polka dotted  pavement in front of him silhouetted  into one dark tone. The rain of course hit him.

That night of the party, immediately upon arrival his cousins dipped on him, each roached into different directions as fast as they could. Hermez didn’t know any of these people, so he when he arrived  at the party he sat on the couch by himself. He grabbed a beer, popped it open and sipped it. He knew his first taste of alcohol would be bad. He was no fool. At least then he thought he wasn’t.
Hermez watched the drops of water create little pools in the dirt next to the sidewalk.  He knew he watched the rain with his trademark expressionless stare. The same stare he used to browse the other party goes that night. Random thoughts raced through his head when he sat by himself at that party. He wanted to go home, but he had also wanted not to waste his time out of the house. When he was on the couch a girl popped in front of him.

A drop of rain splashed Hermez in the eye. Hermez squinted hard to rid himself of it. He thought of the girl and the first image he had of her, her chubby cheeks formed a smile as she looked down at him. He didn’t really see her as his type. She had really long black curled hair. That was kinda sexy, but her makeup made her look like a doll and she was on the heavy side. Hermez didn’t really dig fat chicks, but she sat down and said something to him. She asked him his name and she said hers. She told him where she worked, a call center. He told her what high school he had just graduated from and where he was going. She offered to get them something to drink. How could he turn it down?

The rain felt too heavy to hold his head up. Hermez let the water push his head down. He let the rain make it’s river on his head, it’s waterfall stung his eyes. The night of the party he drunk what was in the glass in front of him in appliance. She talked and he listened. Hermez's memory wasn’t too keen after that, but he remembered at least her leading him to a bedroom upstairs. He remembered the rest too, just not in much detail. He was supposed to be happy to have his skin inside of a girl, but it all felt mechanical. Afterwards he laid staring at the mostly dark ceiling thinking the same thing he thought now, How could I have been so stupid?

Hermez wanted to lay down and go to sleep in the rain. He didn’t really feel it anymore. The damp chill merely an afterthought. Sex was supposed to be this wonderful thing that he was supposed to be excited about, but he felt like he thought he would have felt if he ever believed in Santa and had that myth ruined for him. What’s the point of life? Would everything else be this drear?
The rushing sound of falling rain melted into the ambiance. The rain became white in its fullness of everything around him. Now he could barely see anything in front of him except more and more floods of rain. Hermez stood up from the pool he sat in. Gorges of water splashed out that was held up in his jeans.
“Fuck!” Hermez gritted threw his teeth.

He lifted up the left leg of his pants. His white socks got stained with the blue that bled off of his jeans. The water was washing the color from his pants away. Hermez took out the cigarette and, with his middle finger flicked it into a stream of water. The cigarette made an invisible splash. The rain was much too thick to single out and any rising or falling water. The cigarette dipped down into the water head first, extinguishing it’s light. It then bobbed back up and fell over. The water which was streaming in some direction took the cigarette out of sight and out of mind.

“I gotta get to work.” Hermez shivered.

He pulled his frozen hands inside his coat and walked however long it took in the rain to find a bus stop.